OK… here are the facts:
- It’s hard
- It’s entertaining AF
- It’s STILL better than being married to a cheating ass
So I have officially been single for 2 years and divorced for 1. I am right in the thick of my adult (single-parent) dating life. Some really awesome things have happened to me. I have an amazing support system that keeps me going and keeps me reminded of the fact that I am, under no circumstance, willing to settle. My support comes from my family, my “Day Ones,” my college roomies, awesome work squad, and a few other amazing women who have always been there for me. The most important things my village reminds me of is the fact that 1. Real men are out there 2. There are a lot of loser playboys out there and 3. I don’t need a damn either one of them. My friends and family are so much fun to be around that I truly do not feel like something is missing.
I was in a committed relationship for around 6 months with a man who was not ready to be in one. His wounds were far too fresh and he often took this out on me. It was difficult to identify this but as always, my people were there to help me. Eventually, I realized that, as my mom put it, “The right man will never make you cry.” It was awful to let her see me cry but at the same time, it brought us closer and helped me realize that I had let my standards down for a few weeks and that is unacceptable. I am first and foremost a mother and I am raising two boys to be men. How dare I let them see me cry over someone who certainly wasn’t crying over me.
This actually ended at the right time, although I did wish I hadn’t let it go on as long as I did. Either way, I made the decision to part ways with this fella and I have been undoubtly happier since.
Now I am dating. I also have a few friends in the same boat and I have to say, if it is nothing else, it is entertaining AF! This a-ha moment came to me over margaritas last week with two girlfriends. Personally, I don’t want to spend a moment thinking about a man who isn’t swooning over me. I mean, completely swooning. Do I? Occasionally – but definitely not currently. My one friend is broken-hearted over a man who won’t commit to her because his family doesn’t approve of her. My other lunch date has a ton of fun meeting new guys. For some reason she cannot explain, she has caught feelings for her “F-boy” who is probably still hooking up with an ex and lies to her all the time. My a-ha moment came when I realized that I am completely single and not waiting for or worrying about anyone texting me or not texting me. I want to embrace this moment forever. It is an amazing feeling.
That being said, I went out to dinner with a “friend” recently who has his own “stuff” he’s getting through. I met a 25-year old at the bar who wanted to marry me but only after he checked with my bestie to make sure I’m “not a whore.” I had 1 date with a dentist who wasn’t swooning over me, but asked me out again…only to not take me out again. I have an old fling who wants to see me again but never drove anywhere when we saw each other before which is just strange… I also have a match.com account I can’t figure out how to delete. Why would I want to delete it? Because those men all seem to want to cuff up and the free sites, like “Bumble” are full of men who only want to see pics of the play-by-play of my day.
The freedom of being single and happy? I don’t have to pay attention to any of them. Mr. Right will swoon over me, and that’s how I’ll know.