Dating 101 at 36 with Little Ones at Home...

7 Laughable Characteristics You’ll See if You’re Online Dating (exclusively Bumble) at 35

OK, this is a blog I’ve been working on for a while… I consulted with friends older and younger than me… and I’m between considering it a PSA to the men out there and just plain ol’ entertainment for my sis’s that are in the same boat as me.  Disclaimer, this post can sound a little judgy to those who choose plural marriage.

  1. If you’re 34, I’m 35. I have my (old) Bumble profile set between the ages or 32 and 42… I’m 35.  That should be right in the middle.  I come across men every now and then that have “34” listed as their age…they might look 45… and it’s just laughable.
  2. Your kids have been through enough; keep them off of Bumble! First of all, if you’re on Bumble, you most likely are not committed to the mother of your children.  That has it’s on complications, don’t make more for your children by posting selfies with them on your dating profile!  Second, I don’t want to see your kids, just like I don’t want to meet them, unless we are dating.  If we go out and I ask to see a picture of your children, that’s different. Don’t post them for strangers to view.  Let them be innocent.
  3. The guessing game.  I will be completely honest here- I will not date someone who hasn’t graduated college.  I need security at this point in my life. I would make an exception if I met someone with a solid trade in a union etc.  Please don’t make me guess.  I had a guy who said he was a teacher, but when we chatted, it turns out he never finished college and worked as a paraprofessional.  I almost married a guy like that.  Bullet dodged.  Just give enough in your profile so that potential swipers have an idea about your career and values.
  4. “You statements”  You need to live life to the fullest. Just stop. I’m not on here for advice honey, and I clearly don’t take it anyway or I wouldn’t be in this position in the first place.
  5. Jean Shorts. Never OK.  Never.  I see some on my high school students but they’re high school students. Please stop.  Throw them away or send pack to the 90’s.
  6. Fish Pics. This one is debatable.  I don’t mind them so much, but EVERY MAN has one… nice tuna.
  7. Negative Nancy. New to this app, all the same, same results.  I think I took that right from a guy’s profile. I was thinking, “oh that really makes me want to reach out and talk to your cynical ass!” Oh and the punctuation was wrong.

 

P.S. I’ve recently found “Hinge” as an alternative.  I’m still shook over a bumble date with a “38 year old” who admitted he’s really 52.

1 thought on “7 Laughable Characteristics You’ll See if You’re Online Dating (exclusively Bumble) at 35”

  1. Omg i know what’s up with all the fish pics? Borrowing nieces and nephews to pose for dating app photos…? And the gym pictures ugh! All the puppy and kitten photos are nauseating. Like is that your bait, borrowed kids and old fur baby photos?
    I love the just drink “socially” then the following four photos are in bars, or with a beer or wearing beer shirts.. Haha bumble has become an app i use to just look at photos and read word salads to giggle at..

    Like

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